Bad Blood
by lateBloomer04
Summary: WE The Turners must convince Norrington that Will and Jack shouldn't go to jail. Features Calm Liz, Whiny Liz, Overbearing Will, Polite Will, Capt. Sparrow, & a pirate with buck teeth. Either Will or Elizabeth is exaggerating their version of events...
1. Oops!

Disclaimer: Will, Jack, and Elizabeth all belong to Disney, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Gore Verbinski. They sadly are not mine. sniffles

A/N: This is written in homage to one of my favorite episodes of the X-Files. If you've happened to have seen it, you will notice the similarities. However, my story shall eventually veer in a different direction. In short, this fic will be about how Will and Liz's version of events are different…which I hope will be presented in a humorous manner.

'Bad Blood' takes place soon after the three PotC movies, and Elizabeth and Will have just been married (!) For those of you who don't know about Davey Jones, he appears in PotC: Dead Man's Chest as an evil undead pirate (captain?) to whom Jack owes a blood debt. This time, the undead pirates supposedly were underwater for quite some time, and now have barnacles encrusted in their skin. I'm writing this, making assumptions that Will and Liz did get married at the end, and that they did kill all of Davey Jones' crew. (Or at least they thought they killed them. Heh heh.)

Ch. 1: Introduction

A full moon hung over a Caribbean port town. A tall British soldier frantically ran away from the town and clambered onto the long docks, where a warship was waiting.

"Help!" he yelled, stumbling and crying out in terror. "Somebody, please help me! They're going to kill me!" The navy man, who was sporting a red coat, was an easy target for the two men in dark clothing who gave the chase. "Drop a rope; let me on board!" he cried as the warship continued to sluggishly make its way out of the bay. The approaching footsteps sounded much louder, therefore the man decided to take a daring chance – he dove into the water. Quickly swimming towards the ship, the exhausted soldier slowed to catch his breath, believing to be out of danger. He relaxed, treading water as the moon fell behind the clouds, making it harder for him to see. But then he heard two more splashes; it seemed that his pursuers had no intentions of letting him escape alive.

"Grab the rope, man!" A sailor called from on board the British warship 'Dauntless'. Taking furious strokes, the man finally grabbed the rope and was hauled through the water as the sailors strained to tow him to safety. The man had almost made it over the side of the deck, but as luck would have it, his assailants successfully shot him from the water. When the sailors pulled the man onto the deck, they saw that he had been fatally shot. The first officer was informed of this unfortunate incident, and in an attempt to catch the murderers, he ordered

"Sail the ship sail back to port! Now!"

Seeing their goal accomplished, the navy man's killers swam back to the docks. They were met by a breathless young woman in a cotton dress, whose shiny auburn hair had fallen from its neat bun.

"Will! Jack! What _are_ you doing swimming at this time at night?" Elizabeth Turner glared down at her new husband and old friend. "I thought you were following that lead on…"

"We were and we did!" Will triumphantly interrupted her. "Mission accomplished, dear." The men climbed out of the water and tried to wring out their dripping black clothes. "The last member of Davy Jones' crew is dead; we don't have to worry about him hurting us ever again."

"It wasn't pretty," Jack added, wobbling unsteadily around on the dock. "But we managed ta get a few good shots in him. All we have ta do now is wait for tha' ship to return and make sure the body is buried with the bullets wedged deep inside." Elizabeth let out a long sigh of relief; at last they were finally free the evil pirates.

"Oi! You three! Don't move…you are under arrest for murder," a voice yelled from the darkness. The trio sighed, and waited for the ship to dock so they could set the sailors straight. "Alright, hands above your heads!" A dozen redcoats disembarked and trained their guns on the Turners and Jack. The first officer asked, "Did you murder the man who we hauled onto our ship minutes ago? No lies!"

"Now that you mention it, yes we did!" Sparrow answered brightly, as the soldiers frowned, and clutched their guns tighter. "But really mates, we were doin ya a huge favor because the man tha' we killed was an undead pirate member of Davy Jones' crew." The first officer sneered at the pirate.

"I told you – no lies!" Jack began to protest that he was telling the truth, so the naval officer ordered him gagged. Soon they also tied his hands after the pirate continued his muffled yelling and waved his arms drunkenly.

"He was telling the truth!" Will shouted, his fists clenched. "Look at the body – it's encrusted in barnacles. We had every right to kill a man who was after us!" The officer rolled his eyes and muttered an order to bring the body. Two sailors hastily obliged and soon returned carrying the now deceased man, who sported two wounds to the chest. Unceremoniously, they plopped the waterlogged uniformed body in front of the group; it fell to the ground with a loud 'squelch'.

"Now, does this look like the body of an 'undead pirate' to you, sir?" The first officer folded his arms across his chest in satisfaction as Will gaped at the undoubtedly human body.

"Oh sh-" Will's last syllable was muffled as the soldiers placed a gag in his mouth. The first officer then turned his attention to Elizabeth, who was staring exasperatedly at her husband.

"And you, madam? Were you involved in tonight's unpleasant events?" She sighed and shook her head 'no'. "Well, thank heaven for that," he commented. Elizabeth decided to try her luck, relying on her perfect manners that she had been taught, seemingly, from birth.

"Sir, if you could let me accompany my husband and my, uh, friend to our home? We simply must sail for home, please? I know there will be a trial and it would be best if it were held in familiar surroundings." The officer shook his head.

"I'm afraid I don't have extra time to spare. I'm following orders from the governor of Port Royal to retrieve his daughter, who apparently went gallivanting off with pirates." Elizabeth winced. Sheepishly, she admitted that she was in fact Governor Swann's daughter and that they would all go home willingly, and without a fuss. The officer seemed satisfied and told her that the ship would leave for Port Royal the next morning.

A week later, Port Royal

After the Turners and Jack had arrived home, Commodore Norrington was given complete jurisdiction over the murder 'case'. At Elizabeth's begging, he allowed Will and Jack to stay at the Swann mansion, as long as they stayed inside. True to his word, the Commodore had the entrances to the Governor's home crawling with soldiers. There was no way the prisoners could escape their fate.

Will didn't sleep well the night before the trial, so it was no surprise that he awoke early and went down for breakfast before the other members of the household (minus the cook) were up. Apparently Elizabeth hadn't had such a great night either, so she wasn't far behind her husband.

"Will," she said, timidly as she entered the dining room.

"Don't!" Don't even start with me, Liz." Will took out his frustration on his poor orange, beating it to a pulp. The rest of his breakfast is left untouched for now. "I know what I saw!" Elizabeth walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Will sighed. "I'm sorry, love, I shouldn't be taking this out on you. But I'm just frustrated – the man we were following definitely did _not_ look human." She stared at him glumly; knowing all well what would happen if he pleaded that story.

"Norrington wants our versions of what happened around high noon. What are you going to tell him?" She looked at her husband expectantly.

"What do you mean what are you going to tell him?" asked Will in disbelief. "I'm going to tell him exactly what I saw." He bristled at the skeptical look on his beautiful wife's face. "What are _you_ going to tell him?"

"I'm going to tell him exactly what _I_ saw," she answered, bristling right back at him.

"Now how is that different," Will demanded. Elizabeth's face was devoid of emotion. "Look, sweetheart, I'm the one who may wind up going to jail here," said Will, gently squeezing her hands. I want to know if you are going to back me up or what?"

"Of course I'll back you up," she said, slightly frowning at him. "I don't want my husband to go to jail anymore than you want to go to jail. I would probably miss you…after the first five years or so." Will chuckled at her joke. They both knew that each couldn't stand being away from the other for more than a day. Elizabeth and Will were still basking in their newly-wedded bliss, and their love grew stronger every day.

"However, I wasn't present when you – overreacted. I'm not the one who shot the gun at one of the British navy men."

"I did _not_ overreact," Will vehemently stated. "That man was from Davy Jones' crew!"

"Where's your proof?" She asked, with one eyebrow raised.

"You're my proof!" He exclaimed, giving her a confused look. "You were there while we were searching for him." Elizabeth sighed and shrugged. "Okay, now you're scaring me. I want to hear exactly what you are going to tell Norrington." Elizabeth stared knowingly at her husband.

"You mean you want our story straight."

"No, no I didn't say that," Will corrected her. "I just want to hear it the way you saw it."

"I don't know, Will. Wouldn't that be unethical?" He just glared at her until she finally gave in. "All right," she said, warily.

"Okay, start at the beginning."

"The very beginning?" asked Elizabeth, appalled. Will pouted and gazed at her with his piercing brown puppy dog eyes and she immediately gave in. "Fine."

"Thank you, my love." Elizabeth nodded, giving him a half-smile. Will settled himself comfortably in his chair as Elizabeth began to speak.

"Three weeks ago, you came bursting into the dining room, and interrupted my quiet lunch with Father. Once you'd dragged me from the room, you proposed that we end our honeymoon two days early so that we could go on a high-seas adventure with Jack Sparrow…"

End Ch. 1

A/N: So what'd you think? Is it any good? I know it hasn't been funny yet, but this was just the intro. The real story begins in the next chapter. Please review! Thanks bunches.


	2. Calm Elizabeth vs Overbearing Will

Disclaimer: Will, Jack, and Elizabeth all belong to Disney, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Gore Verbinski. They sadly are not mine. However, Joe Dumbell and Ned Ironjaws are my creations.

A Big Thanks to my (drumroll) two reviewers! And thanks to the other 40 of you all who read it. Hey, at least I got you to click on my story. I guess that's a good thing..

Captain-Ammie: You are so sweet! Thanks for reviewing…that wasn't even a funny chapter it was just the intro, lol. I really appreciate the review, it made me smile. :D

SenatorSolo: Aw, girl that makes me really happy. I try very hard to write well…and not just post any old thing. Never fear, I am continuing on. Don't worry, my story has absolutely nothing to do with the X-Files, other than there was a vampire episode that had Mulder and Scully telling both of their exaggerated versions of events. Hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Ch. 2: Calm Elizabeth vs. Overbearing & Irritating Will

Elizabeth Turner had just begun to tell Will exactly what she was going to tell Norrington about the incident.

"Three Mondays ago, I was just starting to dig into my salad when you came bursting into the room. In your haste, you failed to notice that when you jerked the door open, the shock waves caused my father's glass to tip, spilling wine all over his lap. Although I vehemently protested, you believed you had something terribly important to tell me, and dragged me out of the room by my elbow. For some reason, on that particular Monday, you were, uh, characteristically exuberant."

"_Elizabeth, there's something I need to tell you straight away," Will says insensitively, as Elizabeth massages her elbow._

"_Alright, Will. Tell me what is so important that you needed to interrupt my only private time with my father," Elizabeth says calmly and maturely._

"_How would you like to leave Port Royal for awhile, you know, get away from routine life? How would you like to go on another adventure?" Will asks her excitedly._

"_Well, it is our honeymoon, dear," answers Elizabeth. "After all that's happened to us, I thought it might be nice to settle down for a bit…" Will plows on as if he hasn't heard a word._

"_I just received a letter from Jack, who said it was urgent that he pick us up in the Pearl today. Won't it be great to see him again!"_

"_Yes, but I never actually agreed that we should go," Elizabeth points out. "This is rather sudden, Will. Shouldn't we think about this before we just go off and leave?" Will shakes his head no, and rolls his eyes. _

"_Come on, Elizabeth, we've go to go. Jack is already here, waiting for us! Hurry up and pack your things; the Black Pearl leaves in an hour." _

"_Hold on, Will," states Elizabeth, gently but firmly. "How come Jack wants to see us so badly?"_

"_One of his old friends told him that a member of Davey Jones' crew survived, and that he is out looking for revenge. Jack says he'll be after anyone named Sparrow or Turner. This of course, now includes you."_

_Elizabeth replies, a tad perturbed, _

"_Why didn't you just tell me that from the beginning?" Will shrugs indifferently. _

"_I've got to go meet Jack…you can carry your own things to the docks, right?" Elizabeth sighs in annoyance as Will leaves without hearing her answer._

"So, that very day we sailed for Tortuga," Elizabeth's narration continues. "Jack quickly filled us in, claiming that the crewman we sought was somewhere on that heathen island. After arriving that next week, we made our way to Jack's favorite tavern, _The Faithful Bride_, as Captain Sparrow was having a large craving for rum. It was there that we met Jack's old friend –"

"_Joseph Dumbell," says a handsome young pirate, wearing a shirt with ruffles along with a showy hat with a plume. "But you may call me Joe." He doffs his hat and grins._

"_You Jack's friends?" he says. Elizabeth smiles back at the pirate._

"_Yes, I'm –"_

"_Mr. and Mrs. Turner," says Will, breaking in annoyingly. "So, let's get down to business. When was the last time that you've seen this crewman?" Joe gestures toward the bar, where Jack is already seated, guzzling a large bottle of rum._

"_Shall I by you and the fair lady a drink?" asks Joe, gazing at Elizabeth appreciatively._

"_Thank you, but no," Will tells him coldly, possessively putting an arm around his wife's waist. Joe shrugs and they walk to the bar and have a seat._

"_Well, this man we're looking for goes by the name of Ned Ironjaws. We think he's been staying at an inn not far from here. Now, I have reason to believe that Ironjaws knows that Jack and I are on to him, but as he doesn't know what you look like…"_

"_We could stay at the inn and keep a lookout for him," Elizabeth suggests. "It would make the most sense; why not look for him where we know he's going to be?_

"_That's mighty kind of you, Elizabeth," says Joe with admiration._

"Elizabeth?" Will scoffs. "He never even knew your first name." Elizabeth says, primly,

"Are you going to keep interrupting me or what?" Will goes quiet, and she continues.

"_That's mighty kind of you, Mrs. Turner." Jack, having finally drained his bottles, tries to get up from his stool and teeters unsteadily. Will and Joe leap up to steady the drunken pirate, who tries to shoo them away without success._

"_I can walk by meself," Jack growls in frustration. Joe shakes his head at the wasted captain._

"_You just got here, mate. I was hoping we'd have some time for catching up before you conk out on me. Ah well," he sighed in regret, as Jack yawns, ignoring his company. "I'll let him stay here with me, in the tavern. Help me take him up to my room?" Will gives him a terse nod, and they help guide the inebriated pirate back to Joe's room, with Elizabeth carrying Jack's effects._

"_So when will we see you tomorrow?" asks Will. "I'd like to get started on finding Ironjaws right away." Joe heartily slapped him on the back, and Will grimaced. _

"_Good man. I'll pick up you and your wife as soon as Jack can function – no later than midday. Is that agreeable?"_

"_Oh yes," Elizabeth smiles at him warmly. "That would be quite convenient." _

"_Oh, I almost forgot; the name of the place where Ironjaws is staying is called –" Joe was hit with a sudden coughing fit, and Elizabeth had to lean closer to him to hear what he was saying._

"_See you tomorrow then," says Will, dragging Elizabeth out of the tavern before she can say goodbye. _

"So we checked into the Rosebud Inn." Will coughs, and corrects her.

"The name of it was actually the Redford Lodge." Unruffled, Elizabeth narrates,

"That night, at the Redford Lodge, we asked the owner if he knew of a Ned Ironjaws that was staying at his place.

"_No, M'am, I don't have anyone registered under that name." Not yet deterred, Elizabeth asks,_

"_Please, sir, could we have a look at your records anyway? It's very important that we find him." The old man sighs and let them peruse the worn, dog-eared record book but they can't find a Ned Ironjaws anywhere._

"_There, you see, no Ned Ironjaws has stayed here. Now, let me show you to your room."_

_The owner leads them down a long corridor and unlocks room number forty-two with a loud 'clink' and leaves. Will and Elizabeth set down their luggage and get ready for bed. As they climb under the covers Will gazes at her suggestively._

"_C'mere Liz…" He tries to pull her to him, but she (somehow) resists._

"_Not tonight, Will," she tells him, with a hint of regret. _

_He pouts, "But it's still our honeymoon after all."_

"_And you are the one who wanted to sail with Jack to this god-awful place. I've just been on a week-long sea voyage. Will – I'm exhausted," she admits. "Besides, we'll need all of our strength if we are going looking for Ironjaws tomorrow."_

"_Maybe you'd rather fantasize about Joe instead," Will accuses her, frowning. "I saw the way you were staring at each other."_

"_Will! I was not," she protests. "Stop acting so jealous just because another man finds me attractive! I married _you_, Will. Don't forget that." He sighs and mumbles a barely audible apology. "Try not to jump to conclusions next time," Elizabeth wisely tells her husband. They share a good night kiss, and she takes her time getting situated in bed. "I love you, Will," she whispers. She receives no answer, for has already fallen asleep. Shaking her head in amusement, Elizabeth tries to fall asleep while Will's loud snores fill the bedroom. _

"The following morning, you rudely shook me awake, for you thought it was vital that we start our search for Ironjaws at dawn…"

End Ch. 2

Was it funny? Stupid? I'd like to know. Stay tuned for more Uptight Will and Friendly Elizabeth…see how they interact in chapter three!


	3. Polite Will vs Whiny Elizabeth

Disclaimer: Will, Jack, and Elizabeth all belong to Disney, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Gore Verbinski. They sadly are not mine.

A/N: I'm just not feeling the love here. I'm probably going to put this on the back burner until PotC 2 comes out, as I'm concentrating on my other (well reviewed) fic. Unless I get a ton of reviews of course.

SenatorSolo: Thanks for being supportive. I've included some more funny parts with Jack this time. :D

MrsBloomthefirst: Aww, thank you so much! Don't worry, I will finish it, eventually. This time, Will tends to exaggerate a bit more than Elizabeth did, lol. I hope you like it!

Ch. 3: Whiny Elizabeth

"That's it?" Will asked incredulously. "That's what you're going to tell Norrington?" Elizabeth smirked as she watched him squirm uncomfortably. "Geez, Elizabeth if you tell it like that, you make me out to be some sort of ogre." Will shook his head at her. "Is that _all_ you're going to tell him?" She stared at him thoughtfully.

"Well, that and the fact that it took the four of us a week before we found Ironjaws. And that you and Jack believed that the soldier you were pursuing was Ironjaws. Then I heard screaming and found you and Jack in the water near the docks."

"Great. I'm going to jail now for sure." Will smacked his forehead.

"Don't be so sure about that. I'm going to argue that your zeal to catch up with the man was stemmed from the rum that you and Jack consumed that night." Will eyed Elizabeth disgustedly and points an accusatory finger.

"You are afraid to tell the truth." Elizabeth put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"Excuse me?" Will sighed, and scratched his goatee.

"That's not the way it happened at all! I mean, what are you afraid of? That if you tell it the way it really happened, that you'll look like an idiot? Like me?"

"Alright Will." His wife gives in. "Why don't you tell me the way you think it happened?" She smiled sarcastically. "Starting at the beginning." Will turned away indignantly.

"You're damn right," he muttered. "Three weeks ago, an unexpected visitor came to the smithy. After I warmly greeted Jack, he told me the disturbing news about how Mr. Ironjaws was out to kill us. Captain Sparrow couldn't stress how important it was for you and I to go with him; that we'd never be safe until the man was found. Since this matter applied to your safety as well as mine, I agreed to Jack's offer to sail us out of Port Royal without a second thought. I agreed to meet him down at the docks in a couple hours, and then raced home to tell you. Yet when I found you eating lunch with your father, you seemed characteristically less exuberant."

"_I'm sorry to interrupt, sir," Will says politely, nodding to Governor Swann. "But I have news that I must share with your daughter in private." Elizabeth's father gestures that she can be excused. _

"_But Will, I just started eating my salad!" Elizabeth protests. "Can't it wait until after lunch? It can't be _that_ important," she whines with bitchy negativism. _

"_Actually," chuckles Will, "it is. Come out into the hall and I'll tell you all about it." He takes hold of her arm and gently steers her from the room. "Elizabeth, I –" He didn't get to finish as he was rudely interrupted by his new wife._

" _Will, I've spent almost every hour with you this week; can't I spend a little time with my family?" She shook her head and frowned at him. "Sometimes you can be so selfish." Will sighs, knowing now was not the time to object._

"_I'm sorry, love." He gently pats her arm. "I'll try to be more respectful in the future." She nods at him, as if to say 'yes you will'. Narrowing her eyes at him, she finally asks, "What is so important that you needed to interrupt my only private time with my father?"_

"Not wanting to scare you," Will narrates, "I tried to present the trip as an adventure, a sort of extended honeymoon."

"_How would you like to leave Port Royal for awhile, you know, get away from routine life? How would you like to go on another adventure?" Will asks her carefully. "I just received a letter from Jack; he said that he'd pick us up in the Pearl today. Won't it be great to see him again? It will be just like old times!"_

"_You have some nerve, Will," she sneers. "For God sakes, it's our honeymoon!" answers Elizabeth. "And you'd rather spend it with Jack on some adventure." Poor Will stammers,_

"_But you'd be there, it's not like…" She cuts him off again._

"_Gosh, Will; why do you always have to make such rash decisions without consulting me first?" Elizabeth complains. "That's what married couples do you know… _communicate_. She emphasizes the last word and crosses her arms. Will raises his eyebrows at her._

"_Married couples also try to work out their problems calmly and maturely."_

"_Are you saying that I'm not discussing this with you calmly?" She threatens, her eyes blazing._

"_N-no," Will stammers. "You're calm." She nodded at him, her nose aloft. Annoyed at her pretentiousness, he mumbles under his breath, "it must be that time of the month…"_

"_What was that?" Elizabeth barks._

"_Nothing," Will sighs, holding his hands up in defense. "_

"_You know, I think you aren't telling me everything. Why does Jack think is it necessary for us to leave so soon?" she suspiciously asks._

"_Because I told Jack that we would leave today. And a surviving member of Davey Jones' crew is out to kill anyone named Sparrow or Turner." He says the last sentence in a rush. "One of Jack's friends has located him on Tortuga, so we are going after him before he can find us." Wincing, Will prepares himself for the inevitable verbal onslaught. An infuriated Elizabeth replies, _

"_Why the hell didn't you just tell me that from the beginning? Did you think I couldn't handle truth, that I'd be a frightened little girl who would beg to stay home?" Will shrugs, and opts to stay silent. "Alright, I'll go with you to Tortuga," she gives in. "But don't expect me to enjoy it!"_

"_I really wasn't going to," he mumbled under his breath. "I've allowed you three hours to freshen up and pack before Jack has to leave. When you are finished packing, can I help you carry your trunks down to the docks?"_

"_No thank you; I can manage myself," Elizabeth tells him, tartly. She brushes past a startled Will, leaving him standing alone in the hallway._

"So, we arrived at Tortuga after a week's journey," Will's narration continues. "Jack needed to restock the _Pearl_ with rum, so we paid a visit to his favorite tavern, _The Faithful Bride_. Upon entering the bar, I made an observation that you didn't notice – several customers were moving away from the bar, as if they didn't want to be seen associating with Jack. Apparently your mind was somewhere else."

"_Woah…" breathes Elizabeth, watching Jack's handsome pirate friend swagger his way through the bar to meet them. She smiles goofily at him. This time, though, Joe Dumbell has a goofy set of buck teeth._

"_Yeh mus' be Jack's frien's. "I'm Joe Dumbell."_

Elizabeth frowned, causing Will to stop his story. "He had big buck teeth?"

"He had a slight overbite," conceded Will.

"No he didn't!" Will smiled at his wife smugly. "And that's significant?" asked Elizabeth. "How?"

"I'm just trying to be thorough," Will replied.

_Elizabeth dreamily smiles back at the pirate._

"_Yes, I'm Elizabeth. "_

"_And I'm Will Turner, her husband." He shakes the pirate's hand diplomatically, who eyes Will warily. "So, let's get down to business. When was the last time that you've seen this crewman?" Joe gestures toward the bar, where Jack is already seated, guzzling a large bottle of rum._

"_Shall I by you and the fair lady a drink?" asks Joe, gazing at Elizabeth appreciatively._

"_Thank you, but no," Will tells him politely; putting around his wife's waist. Joe shrugs and they walk to the bar and have a seat next to Jack. The pirate tells them about Ned Ironjaws and how the only lead he has is the name of the Inn where he stays. Out of the blue, Elizabeth offers,_

"…_We could stay at the inn and keep a lookout for him." Will notices how she bats her eyelashes at Joe._

"_Why that's mighty nice of yeh, Elizabeth. I'll pick yeh and yer husban' up when the sun shines directly overhead. That aint too early is it, Miz Turner?" asked Joe, with his buck teeth protruding more than ever._

"_Oh no," Elizabeth replies as she smiles dreamily at him. "That would be perfect." Joe toothily grins back._

_Jack, having finally drained his bottles, tries to get up from his stool and teeters unsteadily. Will leaps up to steady the drunken pirate, who tries to shoo him away._

"_I can walk by meself," Jack growls in frustration. _

"_Hey Joe, a little help here?" asks an annoyed Will. Dumbfounded, Joe stares at him for a second, before he grabs Jack's other side. "Are you staying here tonight?"_

"_Yulp," answers Joe. _

"_Can Jack spend the night in your room?" The pirate stared at Will, confused._

"_Now why would I want him te do tha'?" Will groaned._

"_Maybe because he has nowhere else to stay! That is unless you want to take him all the way back to his ship."_

"_Nah, that'd be too much work," Joe seriously concluded after awhile. "Let's take 'im on back." The two men prepare to help the inebriated pirate to Joe's room when they realize Jack's effects are still sitting at the bar._

"_Elizabeth, would you be a dear and bring Jack's effects?" Will asks. She snorts and looks at Will like he is crazy._

"_Ew, no way am I touching his dirty old things. Who knows where they've been!" Shaking his head, Will sighs and scoops up Jack's belongings in one hand, and uses the other to hold onto Jack. Eventually, they get Captain Sparrow settled in for the night._

"_So when will we see you tomorrow?" asks Will. "I'd like to get started on finding Ironjaws right away." Joe heartily slapped him on the back, and Will grimaced. _

"_Oh, I almos' forgot!" Joe smacks his forehead, causing his hat to fall off. The bumbling idiot turns around swearing and finally picks up his ridiculous hat. "The name of the place where Ironjaws is staying is called –" He seductively whispers the name into Elizabeth's ear. She nods and thanks him profusely._

"_We should probably head out; it's getting late," Will tells Elizabeth gently. She is obviously still enamored with Mr. Dumbell, as she has completely ignored Will's last statement. Will looks jealously at them. "Elizabeth? Darling?" Will lightly touches her on the elbow and she jumps._

"_I'm coming, William!" she gripes, and finally allows her husband to lead her out of the bar._

"So we checked in at the Redford Lodge. You asked the owner if Ironjaws had stayed at his place, and he told us that he had no record of a customer of that name. It was getting late so we had the innkeeper show us to our room, and we got ready for bed."

_Will and Elizabeth set down their luggage and change into their nightclothes. As they climb under the covers Will gazes at her lovingly._

"_C'mere sweetheart…" He tries to pull her to him, but Elizabeth pushes him away._

"_Good heavens, Will," she says, exasperated. "Is that all you think about?" _

_He gently points out, "But it's still our honeymoon after all."_

"_Yes, it is." She glares at him. "And I've sacrificed the last of my honeymoon for you, by sailing to this wretched hell-hole. I'm exhausted, and my head hurts," she gripes. As an afterthought, she adds "We'll need all of our strength if we are going looking for Ironjaws tomorrow."_

"_Maybe you'd rather fantasize about Joe instead," Will accuses her, frowning. "I saw the way you were staring at each other."_

"_And what if I was?" she challenges him. "Stop acting so jealous just because another man finds me attractive! You shouldn't let that bother you." _

"_Well, it does! I love you, Elizabeth, and I don't appreciate it when you behave that way." Will sounds hurt as he tells her this._

"_I was just having a bit of fun," she defends herself. "I do love you Will, more than you know." _

"_I'm glad to hear it," he grumbles._

"_Next time I won't be so flirtatious."_

"_Next time!" says Will. _

"_I'm only joking," she hastily replies. "Good night, my love."_

_They share a quick kiss and Will falls asleep immediately._

"The next morning, we began our manhunt and after tracking a few leads that week, Jack and I stumbled upon Ironjaws. We chased him through the streets of Tortuga, although at one point, we lost sight of him before catching up to him at the docks. When Jack and I reached the end of the docks, we saw that he was in the water, not far from a navy ship. We jumped in after him, with Jack keeping his pistol above the water. The navy was hauling him aboard, and Jack knew this was our only chance, so he shot the man. And then we saw back to the docks, found you, and then the navy sailed back and arrested us."

Will looks expectantly at Elizabeth when he finished his story.

"Well, other than the fact that you made me sound like an absolute bitch, I'd say our stories tally up."

"Oh good; getting your stories straight?" Jack Sparrow finally came downstairs for breakfast. He always slept in, and today was no exception. Looking extremely well-rested, it seemed that fact that he had to face Norrington didn't faze him in the slightest.

"Yes," admitted Will.

"No," denied Elizabeth. Jack just laughed at her, and she glared at him.

"It's not a bad idea, 'Lizbeth," said Jack. "You'd make a good pirate yet." Elizabeth sighed.

"Will, please keep reminding the Commodore that you were drunk."

"Would you stop that!" hissed Will.

"It couldn't hurt," Elizabeth reminded him. Just then the Commodore entered the room. Will, Elizabeth, and Jack leap to their feet.

"I was drunk!" Will blurts out. Norrington sighs, blinks, and addresses the trio.

"I want you back in Tortuga. The man that you killed has disappeared; his body's gone. And what's more, the guard at the morgue was found dead. Now, as much as I hate to say it, this is more your area of expertise." He nodded to Jack, who smirked back. "But after dealing with those, ah, cursed pirates, I'd rather not endanger my men any further." The commodore cringes, but continues his speech. "Perhaps you were right about the man that you killed. If you can find him, and bring him back you will be cleared of all charges." They all breathe a sigh of relief; Will and Jack weren't going to jail!

"Thank you so much, James," said Elizabeth. The Commodore nodded mutely. "My men have been ordered to turn a blind eye to a ship called the _Black Pearl_ if it leaves within the hour. I suggest that you get moving." Jack grinned at Norrington.

"I knew I always liked you." Shaking his head, the Commodore left. Jack and the Turners quickly made their way down to the docks and readied the _Pearl_ for her next voyage.

End Ch. 3


End file.
